I've written a lot about this topic in the past, so I'm mainly going to share links to previous posts and a booklist. But first, a quote from Attached at the Heart, by Barbara Nicholson and Lysa Parker:
From the attachment parenting perspective, positive discipline embodies the "golden rule" of parenting; in other words, treat children the way you would want to be treated if you were the child. Positive discipline is an overarching concept based in the understanding that when a child is treated respectfully within loving, age-appropriate boundaries, he will develop a conscience guided by his own internal discipline and empathy for others. Positive discipline is rooted in a secure, trusting, and loving relationship between parent and child. With a strong foundation of trust, positive discipline incorporates empathic and respectful strategies that over time will strengthen the connection between parent and child, while harsh or overly punitive discipline weakens the connection.
Back in January, I started to write a series of posts on the subject of positive discipline, or gentle discipline. Here are the three whole posts I managed to get around to doing before I got distracted by other projects:
http://jeefamily.blogspot.com/2009/01/gentle-discipline.html
http://jeefamily.blogspot.com/2009/01/your-childs-well-being.html
http://jeefamily.blogspot.com/2009/01/discipline-goals-next-step.html
Here is Attachment Parenting International's information about discipline:
http://www.attachmentparenting.org/principles/disc.php
An article from La Leche League:
http://www.llli.org/NB/NBMayJun05p94.html
And my booklist:
My two all-time favorite discipline books:
Adventures in Gentle Discipline, by Hilary Flower
Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline, by Becky Bailey
All the other books I have on my shelf:
Kids are Worth It! by Barbara Coloroso
The Soft-Spoken Parent: More than 50 Strategies to Turn Away Wrath, by H. Wallace Goddard (LDS author)
Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families, by Steven R. Covey (not specifically about gentle discipline, but definitely fits)
Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles, by Mary Sheedy Kircinka
Playful Parenting, by Lawrence J. Cohen
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Positive discipline is an ongoing journey. Some days we live the concepts well, other day (most days, perhaps) we fall on our faces. But I think it's so important that we do this right! I think every child deserves to live in a family where s/he can feel completely safe and never have to worry about violence (spanking, slapping, pinching, flicking, etc.) or about being demeaned (yelled at, labelled, spoken to with sarcasm or annoyance, etc.). Parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world, of course, as as parents we will make mistakes.... but here is a goal we can all aim for! It is worth it!
From the attachment parenting perspective, positive discipline embodies the "golden rule" of parenting; in other words, treat children the way you would want to be treated if you were the child. Positive discipline is an overarching concept based in the understanding that when a child is treated respectfully within loving, age-appropriate boundaries, he will develop a conscience guided by his own internal discipline and empathy for others. Positive discipline is rooted in a secure, trusting, and loving relationship between parent and child. With a strong foundation of trust, positive discipline incorporates empathic and respectful strategies that over time will strengthen the connection between parent and child, while harsh or overly punitive discipline weakens the connection.
Back in January, I started to write a series of posts on the subject of positive discipline, or gentle discipline. Here are the three whole posts I managed to get around to doing before I got distracted by other projects:
http://jeefamily.blogspot.com/2009/01/gentle-discipline.html
http://jeefamily.blogspot.com/2009/01/your-childs-well-being.html
http://jeefamily.blogspot.com/2009/01/discipline-goals-next-step.html
Here is Attachment Parenting International's information about discipline:
http://www.attachmentparenting.org/principles/disc.php
An article from La Leche League:
http://www.llli.org/NB/NBMayJun05p94.html
And my booklist:
My two all-time favorite discipline books:
Adventures in Gentle Discipline, by Hilary Flower
Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline, by Becky Bailey
All the other books I have on my shelf:
Kids are Worth It! by Barbara Coloroso
The Soft-Spoken Parent: More than 50 Strategies to Turn Away Wrath, by H. Wallace Goddard (LDS author)
Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families, by Steven R. Covey (not specifically about gentle discipline, but definitely fits)
Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles, by Mary Sheedy Kircinka
Playful Parenting, by Lawrence J. Cohen
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Positive discipline is an ongoing journey. Some days we live the concepts well, other day (most days, perhaps) we fall on our faces. But I think it's so important that we do this right! I think every child deserves to live in a family where s/he can feel completely safe and never have to worry about violence (spanking, slapping, pinching, flicking, etc.) or about being demeaned (yelled at, labelled, spoken to with sarcasm or annoyance, etc.). Parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world, of course, as as parents we will make mistakes.... but here is a goal we can all aim for! It is worth it!
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