Have you ever tried to figure out what your special mission is when it comes to parenting? You know, that one thing (or maybe a few things) that you do really well or that you feel so strongly about you want to shout it to all the world? Your special area of expertise or focus? Hanging in attachment parenting/natural family living circles, I've been around a lot of moms with passions. Passions for better birth practices, for better breastfeeding education... Some just can't keep their feelings on circumcision (or, more aptly, lack of it) to themselves. I've always admired the activism of some of these moms. Yet, at the same time, I could never quite figure out what my special thing was. It obviously isn't birth. I mean, how ridiculous would it be for someone who hasn't given birth to get passionately involved in caring about how other people give birth? (I shouldn't say I don't care about it, because I DO... but it's not personally relevant to me--AND, it has a tendency to be a painful subject, so I'll leave birth activism to others.) And breastfeeding? Well, I long longed for that to be my "thing".... but after years of some varied experiences, I've come to realize that it's a pretty complicated topic. Too complicated for me to get as up in arms as I might have once gotten.
So, I kept wondering, what is my passion? What's my thing? What's that special something that I really know alot about and care alot about? The one where I just can't keep my mouth shut?
The last year as I've researched homeschooling, I've come to realize what my passions are. Homeschooling is not one of them (yet... It might be eventually.). But education is--the right kind of education! I've realized that this has always been my passion, it's just that many of the things I've learned this past year have served to strengthen those convictions that I've carried with me for a very long time. Appropriate early childhood education is probably one of my biggest "things" right now!
My other passion is creating a warm and safe haven at home for children. It's simplicity, connection, family relationships. It's mothers slowing down, appreciating the small moments, being content. It's understanding young children's needs and their development and creating an environment that reflects those needs. It's seeing the spirituality inherent in motherhood.
My sister-in-law, K, lent me a wonderful book! When she handed it to me, she told me that I would love it and that she'd thought of me as soon as she read it. She was so right! I do love it! Imagine me finding a single book that pretty much sums up my entire parenting philosophy, a book that reflects every dream I've ever had for the kind of home I want to create for my family. Well, I found it. If you have the chance, you have to read Mitten Strings for God, Reflections for Mothers in a Hurry, by Katrina Kennison.
Here are some of my favorite tidbits:
From Dailiness:
We have all fallen victim at one time or another to the relentless cycle of our children's playdates and after-school lessons, to the push for their academic and athletic accomplishments, and to their endless desires for the latest toy, video game, or designer sneakers. The adage of our age seems to be "Get more out of life!" And we do our best to obey. Grab a snack, round up the kids, and we're out the door--to do, or buy, or learn something more.
But in our efforts to make each moment "count", we seem to have lost the knack for appreciating the ordinary. We provide our children with so much that the extraordinary isn't special anymore, and the subtle rhythms of daily life elude us altogether. We do too much and savor too little. We mistake activity for happiness, and so we stuff our children's days with activities, and their heads with information, when we ought to be feeding their souls instead.
From Quiet:
How did our world get so noisy? Have we grown so accustomed to the incessant background noise of our daily lives that we have forgotten the shape and feel and sound of silence? Even under our own roofs, many families today are separated from one another by the thrum of computers, the canned noise of competing TVs, , ringing phones, and omnipresent background music from radios and CD players.
....
When we cultivate a mood of calm repose in our homes, we are scooping out a space for reflection and reverie. Our children are exposed to incessant commotion in the world that exists beyond our walls. Let home be the place where they can find the peace and quiet they need to make sense of it all. A place, too, where we can nurture our inner lives without distraction. The soul speaks softly. And so I guard our quiet times. Creativity flourishes in these spaces; grace and peace reside here too.
From TV:
It used to be that parents, extended families, and communities passed on their values to the next generation. Now, many children are being raised by the media. TV characters tell them what to buy, how to dress, what to eat, how to talk, what to aspire to, what to love, and what to scorn.
From Stories:
Where do our children hear most of their stories today? More often than not, they receive their stories from the media, from huge international corporations who need to make a profit, and who do so by "entertaining" us. These mass-produced, commercial stories may capture our children's attention, but they will not stir their senses or open their hearts. Compared to the imaginative riches we can bequeath to our own childern, even the most well-intentioned stories and images from television and movies and advertisements seem hollow indeed...
The stories we mothers can tell are different. They are food for the soul, and they nourish us, the storytellers as well as the listeners. Telling a story is really a way of breathing deeply with our children...
From Helping:
Most children are eager to help--whether in the kitchen, out in the yard, or with the mundane chores of family life. Often, I find myself tempted to rebuff my sons' eager offers of assistance just because, in most instances, it is easier to do a thing myself. But I miss out then on an opportunity for growth, both theirs, and mine. So I try to let them try. ....it is worth the effort, because meaningful work of any kind builds a child's awareness of othes' needs and confidence in his or her own abilities.
From Nurturing:
My children are most at ease when I am at ease myself, when our days are not too busy, our activities not too ambitious. They are happy when we are simply together, moment by moment, engaged with each other. No book or toy or store-bought treat can substitute for the more precious gift of my attention.
....I have come to think of this loving attention as my special province. I try to devote some small part of every day to taking care of the invisible. ....Humble moments all--yet it is possible to cast them in a golden light. This is the divine work we mothers do; perhaps for a time, it is our vocation--taking care of the invisible.
From Balance:
The sweetest memories are right here, in the moments we create and share with one another. Yet our lives are often too crowded even to allow for such reflections.
....
What if my son falls behind his tennis-playing peers? How can I show the world I am a good mother if I don't volunteer at school? What will people think if I don't appear at that party? What will we be missing if we stay home? There is a fear behind all this frenzy, fear that we, or our children, will somehow fail to measure up.
....
In our efforts to provide for our children, are we losing sight of what is really most important? Have our activities crowded out the kind of simple, spontaneous moments that truly make life worth living?
....
How easy is it to race through our lives, and to race our children through their own childhoods in the process. How many times each day do we urge our children to "hurry"? In our attempts to make the most of every day, we herd them along from one thing to the next, praising their accomplishments and urging them on to new ones. The pressure to begin mastering skills at an evern earlier age has become enormous. Even the four-year-olds I know are a busy group, their days filled with dance classes, swimming lessons, tennis for tots, T-ball, and soccer--not to mention preschool!
These few little blurbs are just a small portion of the wise counsel offered in this book! Every single sentence on every single page had me nodding in agreement. These are the things I'm either already trying to do as a mother or am dreaming of someday mastering.
Best of all, these things aren't dependent on whether or not you've given birth or how well your body might or might not work. These gems are both available and accessible to ALL mothers! After listening to President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's wonderful talk on creating, given a year or so ago, I was struck with the thought that while I might not be able to physically create a child's body within my own, I can create spiritually! I am creating my children's lives! I'm literally building and shaping the environment in which they grow up every single day. It's made me think more and more about what I want that environment to be. Sometimes I feel like I am alone in many of my desires, especially when it comes to limiting media and other influences for my children. This book reminded me of just how important it is to persist in being firm against our prevailing culture in fighting for the things I feel are right.
So, I kept wondering, what is my passion? What's my thing? What's that special something that I really know alot about and care alot about? The one where I just can't keep my mouth shut?
The last year as I've researched homeschooling, I've come to realize what my passions are. Homeschooling is not one of them (yet... It might be eventually.). But education is--the right kind of education! I've realized that this has always been my passion, it's just that many of the things I've learned this past year have served to strengthen those convictions that I've carried with me for a very long time. Appropriate early childhood education is probably one of my biggest "things" right now!
My other passion is creating a warm and safe haven at home for children. It's simplicity, connection, family relationships. It's mothers slowing down, appreciating the small moments, being content. It's understanding young children's needs and their development and creating an environment that reflects those needs. It's seeing the spirituality inherent in motherhood.
My sister-in-law, K, lent me a wonderful book! When she handed it to me, she told me that I would love it and that she'd thought of me as soon as she read it. She was so right! I do love it! Imagine me finding a single book that pretty much sums up my entire parenting philosophy, a book that reflects every dream I've ever had for the kind of home I want to create for my family. Well, I found it. If you have the chance, you have to read Mitten Strings for God, Reflections for Mothers in a Hurry, by Katrina Kennison.
Here are some of my favorite tidbits:
From Dailiness:
We have all fallen victim at one time or another to the relentless cycle of our children's playdates and after-school lessons, to the push for their academic and athletic accomplishments, and to their endless desires for the latest toy, video game, or designer sneakers. The adage of our age seems to be "Get more out of life!" And we do our best to obey. Grab a snack, round up the kids, and we're out the door--to do, or buy, or learn something more.
But in our efforts to make each moment "count", we seem to have lost the knack for appreciating the ordinary. We provide our children with so much that the extraordinary isn't special anymore, and the subtle rhythms of daily life elude us altogether. We do too much and savor too little. We mistake activity for happiness, and so we stuff our children's days with activities, and their heads with information, when we ought to be feeding their souls instead.
From Quiet:
How did our world get so noisy? Have we grown so accustomed to the incessant background noise of our daily lives that we have forgotten the shape and feel and sound of silence? Even under our own roofs, many families today are separated from one another by the thrum of computers, the canned noise of competing TVs, , ringing phones, and omnipresent background music from radios and CD players.
....
When we cultivate a mood of calm repose in our homes, we are scooping out a space for reflection and reverie. Our children are exposed to incessant commotion in the world that exists beyond our walls. Let home be the place where they can find the peace and quiet they need to make sense of it all. A place, too, where we can nurture our inner lives without distraction. The soul speaks softly. And so I guard our quiet times. Creativity flourishes in these spaces; grace and peace reside here too.
From TV:
It used to be that parents, extended families, and communities passed on their values to the next generation. Now, many children are being raised by the media. TV characters tell them what to buy, how to dress, what to eat, how to talk, what to aspire to, what to love, and what to scorn.
From Stories:
Where do our children hear most of their stories today? More often than not, they receive their stories from the media, from huge international corporations who need to make a profit, and who do so by "entertaining" us. These mass-produced, commercial stories may capture our children's attention, but they will not stir their senses or open their hearts. Compared to the imaginative riches we can bequeath to our own childern, even the most well-intentioned stories and images from television and movies and advertisements seem hollow indeed...
The stories we mothers can tell are different. They are food for the soul, and they nourish us, the storytellers as well as the listeners. Telling a story is really a way of breathing deeply with our children...
From Helping:
Most children are eager to help--whether in the kitchen, out in the yard, or with the mundane chores of family life. Often, I find myself tempted to rebuff my sons' eager offers of assistance just because, in most instances, it is easier to do a thing myself. But I miss out then on an opportunity for growth, both theirs, and mine. So I try to let them try. ....it is worth the effort, because meaningful work of any kind builds a child's awareness of othes' needs and confidence in his or her own abilities.
From Nurturing:
My children are most at ease when I am at ease myself, when our days are not too busy, our activities not too ambitious. They are happy when we are simply together, moment by moment, engaged with each other. No book or toy or store-bought treat can substitute for the more precious gift of my attention.
....I have come to think of this loving attention as my special province. I try to devote some small part of every day to taking care of the invisible. ....Humble moments all--yet it is possible to cast them in a golden light. This is the divine work we mothers do; perhaps for a time, it is our vocation--taking care of the invisible.
From Balance:
The sweetest memories are right here, in the moments we create and share with one another. Yet our lives are often too crowded even to allow for such reflections.
....
What if my son falls behind his tennis-playing peers? How can I show the world I am a good mother if I don't volunteer at school? What will people think if I don't appear at that party? What will we be missing if we stay home? There is a fear behind all this frenzy, fear that we, or our children, will somehow fail to measure up.
....
In our efforts to provide for our children, are we losing sight of what is really most important? Have our activities crowded out the kind of simple, spontaneous moments that truly make life worth living?
....
How easy is it to race through our lives, and to race our children through their own childhoods in the process. How many times each day do we urge our children to "hurry"? In our attempts to make the most of every day, we herd them along from one thing to the next, praising their accomplishments and urging them on to new ones. The pressure to begin mastering skills at an evern earlier age has become enormous. Even the four-year-olds I know are a busy group, their days filled with dance classes, swimming lessons, tennis for tots, T-ball, and soccer--not to mention preschool!
These few little blurbs are just a small portion of the wise counsel offered in this book! Every single sentence on every single page had me nodding in agreement. These are the things I'm either already trying to do as a mother or am dreaming of someday mastering.
Best of all, these things aren't dependent on whether or not you've given birth or how well your body might or might not work. These gems are both available and accessible to ALL mothers! After listening to President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's wonderful talk on creating, given a year or so ago, I was struck with the thought that while I might not be able to physically create a child's body within my own, I can create spiritually! I am creating my children's lives! I'm literally building and shaping the environment in which they grow up every single day. It's made me think more and more about what I want that environment to be. Sometimes I feel like I am alone in many of my desires, especially when it comes to limiting media and other influences for my children. This book reminded me of just how important it is to persist in being firm against our prevailing culture in fighting for the things I feel are right.
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