To nap or not to nap? That is the question.

Anybody who knows us well knows that I have a 3.5-year-old who still doesn't sleep through the night consistently. Anybody who knows me knows that I am tired, and so is my husband! We have tried all possible remedies that fall within our values (i.e. we're not going to ignore her and make her cry herself to sleep, so don't even suggest it). Some of the things we tried when she was littler just seemed to exacerbate the problem and increase her anxiety at night.

Now, anxiety seems a funny word when describing Sariah. She's the least-anxious child I've ever met, I think. But I've always felt that she sucks up all the emotional nurturing she needs at night so she can be the happy, outgoing, friendly child she is during the day. She is also a very, very light sleeper.

So for the past few months, she's been fighting nap time. Many days I even had to take her for a ride in the car to get her to go to sleep. Some days she naps, some days it takes her forever to fall asleep, and some days she just won't go to sleep at all. I've known for awhile that she is coming to the end of her napping years. It's bittersweet, because naptime is my favorite time of the day! (I'm sure all mothers of young children would agree with me.) Dallin took naps till he was four years old, and I've prided myself on the fact that at 3.5, Sariah still naps.

But sometimes she's had trouble falling asleep at night. Sometimes it's taken an hour or more. So now we're thinking maybe we need to just not do nap time at all. This week I've tried to keep her up most days, and behold, she's slept through the night four of the last five nights. This is huge! I know deep down that this might be our key, that one final thing that will get her sleeping at night.

But I love nap time! I love it so much! And now I have to miss out on my "me time". I know, I'm spoiled. I've almost always had only one child at a time in this phase, so nap time really could be "my time". I try to have my computer time with Sariah awake, but she complains. (Heaven forbid she should complain.) She doesn't like Mommy to have quiet time. She does things like paint with red paint all over the bookshelf and take all the computer keys off the old computer (Thanks, cousin A, for the idea. Sariah thanks you too.). And sometime she's grumpy.

Today she was grumpy. I decided to rock her for awhile. I still want her to have a quiet rest time, just not go to sleep. But I cannot leave her in her room unless she's asleep. Trust me, leaving Sariah anywhere by herself for any length of time is a very dangerous idea! So I rocked her, and we sang songs. And she fell asleep. I have laid her on the couch, hoping that maybe she won't sleep so long there as she would in her bed, and that she'll still sleep tonight.

Ah, dilemmas! What would you do?

Comments

Stacy said…
I don't know. I hate that stage. Right now, I live for the one hour or so of quiet time that I get during naps, and would go insane without it. However, the sleeping through the night thing and the going to bed without it being an hour long process might be something to think about...
Linnea said…
You probably already know what I think, but I say count your blessings Dallin AND Sariah have had naps at that age! I think it's transition time--she'll have longer intervals of days without naps until she no longer needs any at all. And you'll start sleeping better at night which is it's own special brand of "me" time. I also think she'll get used to being in her room and she'll sleep deeper and not be awaked so soon and as these things happen you'll be able to put her to bed and still have a little "me" time most evenings.
Laine said…
it sounds to me like you are describing Cassidy. caz will be 4 next month, and she never lies down for a nap anymore, but sometimes she falls asleep on her own. She is our only child who consistently wakes at night and comes to our bed to sleep with us. She takes forever to fall asleep, but then she sleeps until 9 am (none of our other kids do that)....it's hard, and yes, we're tired too...and so I totally get it! I would try to go nap free for a week, and see if that helps the nighttime issues???? For us, it seems like there isn't a whole lot of consistency, so hopefully you get that. I hardly ever have me time anymore during the day...and I remember it fondly. I hope you can find a way to keep yours! Sorry, no I don't have any answers...just rambling about how I feel your pain. :) I haven't visited your blog in wayyyy too long! Glad to stop by. :)
Anonymous said…
We had very similar issues. Abigail took naps until age 4 as well. Jack and Aidan didn't wake at night, but they did have a VERY difficult time going to sleep, often taking two hours to fall asleep. Once we stopped their nap (age 3.5), bedtime became a breeze- 10 min and they would be out! Now they are all 3 in bed and reading books by 6:30, asleep by 7, and they wake up around 6.

When the boys were in preschool, they took naps there everyday, and one of the benefits of switching to homeschool was that we stopped the naps and bedtimes became easy again.

I understand the loss of free time, but it sounds like it might be better for everyone to try only sleeping at night.
Lisa said…
Thanks, guys. Yeah, I know I'm lucky that they've even napped this long. (But a lot of it is because I've worked very hard on this part of our daily routine. They nap because I lay down with them and insist on it.)

My goal last week was to try nap-free for a week. We did pretty good, but one day she actually asked to lay down, and then yesterday she was just so grumpy that I gave in. I just need more willpower, I guess!