Sariah has been talking about babies for days. Every day it's "When is our baby going to come?" and "I wish our baby was here already!" This morning, she asked me: "So how does Jesus get the babies to the families anyway?" This led to a very pared-down discussion of birth mothers and how birth mothers think and pray and God tells them in their hearts which families to choose for their babies. Her response: "Well what about my birth mom? She could give us another one."
Oh, I wish it were that easy.
Sariah's getting impatient, and so am I. Not only am I feeling very antsy, but I have absolutely no idea or sense of direction on this whatsover. I feel no promptings to go in any particular direction. So in the meantime, we just sit and wait. Well, actually, we aren't really sitting. We are busy. We are living our lives. Half the time I am too busy to think much about adoption. But the other half, well, let's just say that I wish we could get on with this process. We've been family-building for almost 15 years, I'd like to be done.
I'm not necessarily ready to be done parenting. I think because we waited so long, I feel very much entrenched in the "mommy of young children" phase of life. I can't imagine never saying hello to another baby. I'm loving this life that I have now, and I don't want it to end. But I do want the "getting them here" to end. Fifteen years (OK, 14.5 years), virtually every day of it being spent trying in some way to get a child here. Except for the three weeks when we were newlyweds and the oh, nine months or so after Dallin was born, and the year+ after Sariah was born. Now, sometimes, the "getting them here" has been very active and progressive, and sometimes it has been more introspective, the worrying and pondering and thinking in my own mind about "the next one". But either way, it's been 14.5 years.
Alot of things in our lives seem to be about waiting right now, about finding that balance between hoping and planning for the future and living to the fullest the lives we have right now. Where will we be living a year from now? When will a new baby grace our family? Will it all happen at the same time? (Heaven forbid!) And now what about homeschooling? I am making myself take considerations about new babies and new jobs out of the homeschool-decision-making picture. I cannot live my life not going forward because I might have a new baby or we might be moving. I've been there and done that. Somehow, it would just have to all work out. I'm trying not to think about the possibility of making a cross-country move while inducing lactation to feed my newly adopted baby that came home on 2 hours' notice exactly three weeks after I pulled my kids out of school to homeschool.
But yeah, it's crazy-making!
Anybody have a crystal ball?
Oh, I wish it were that easy.
Sariah's getting impatient, and so am I. Not only am I feeling very antsy, but I have absolutely no idea or sense of direction on this whatsover. I feel no promptings to go in any particular direction. So in the meantime, we just sit and wait. Well, actually, we aren't really sitting. We are busy. We are living our lives. Half the time I am too busy to think much about adoption. But the other half, well, let's just say that I wish we could get on with this process. We've been family-building for almost 15 years, I'd like to be done.
I'm not necessarily ready to be done parenting. I think because we waited so long, I feel very much entrenched in the "mommy of young children" phase of life. I can't imagine never saying hello to another baby. I'm loving this life that I have now, and I don't want it to end. But I do want the "getting them here" to end. Fifteen years (OK, 14.5 years), virtually every day of it being spent trying in some way to get a child here. Except for the three weeks when we were newlyweds and the oh, nine months or so after Dallin was born, and the year+ after Sariah was born. Now, sometimes, the "getting them here" has been very active and progressive, and sometimes it has been more introspective, the worrying and pondering and thinking in my own mind about "the next one". But either way, it's been 14.5 years.
Alot of things in our lives seem to be about waiting right now, about finding that balance between hoping and planning for the future and living to the fullest the lives we have right now. Where will we be living a year from now? When will a new baby grace our family? Will it all happen at the same time? (Heaven forbid!) And now what about homeschooling? I am making myself take considerations about new babies and new jobs out of the homeschool-decision-making picture. I cannot live my life not going forward because I might have a new baby or we might be moving. I've been there and done that. Somehow, it would just have to all work out. I'm trying not to think about the possibility of making a cross-country move while inducing lactation to feed my newly adopted baby that came home on 2 hours' notice exactly three weeks after I pulled my kids out of school to homeschool.
But yeah, it's crazy-making!
Anybody have a crystal ball?
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