So tonight I was laying down with Sariah trying to get her to go to sleep, and to pass the time, I started telling her the story of her arrival in our family. I was telling her how we got a phone call while driving in the car, and the adoption lady was on the phone to tell us a little baby was coming to our family, and we had only a few days to prepare, and it was so crazy because Grandma Glade had just died.
And out of the blue, Sariah said, "Sad."
I was caught off guard.
"Who was sad?" I asked.
"B_____ sad," she responded.
I was stunned. B_____ is Sariah's birthmother. Now, we did have a conversation about her a few weeks ago, and I believe that the fact that she was sad to say goodbye to her baby did come up. I don't remember how this prior discussion all went down. It seems weird that I would have brought up sadness, since this concept of birthparent grief is not something I usually introduce to my kids this young. But maybe I did.
Anyhow, that conversation happened a few weeks ago. We don't talk about adoption all that often at Sariah's age, and when we do, it's extremely basic.
I was surprised for several reasons. 1) That Sariah remembered her birthmom's name well enough to mention it. 2) That Sariah remembered our previous conversation and put this part of the story together with the other part. I had not even said one word about her birthmom this time around. I had only mentioned our phone call and our happiness at having a new baby. But she put two and two together and knew that her birthmom, B______, was part of this story....and remembered that she was sad.
Now, to be fair, two seconds later, Sariah giggled and said, "Happy. B_____ happy." "Yes," I replied. B_____ was sad to say goodbye to her little baby, but she was happy that her baby was going to her family."
Dallin would have never done this at age two. Never! I don't know if on some level she knows and remembers her birthmom and the events surrounding her adoption, or if she just has a really good memory of what we talked about a couple of weeks ago. Either way, I'm thinking, am I really prepared to have these kinds of adoption talks with a 2-year-old?
And out of the blue, Sariah said, "Sad."
I was caught off guard.
"Who was sad?" I asked.
"B_____ sad," she responded.
I was stunned. B_____ is Sariah's birthmother. Now, we did have a conversation about her a few weeks ago, and I believe that the fact that she was sad to say goodbye to her baby did come up. I don't remember how this prior discussion all went down. It seems weird that I would have brought up sadness, since this concept of birthparent grief is not something I usually introduce to my kids this young. But maybe I did.
Anyhow, that conversation happened a few weeks ago. We don't talk about adoption all that often at Sariah's age, and when we do, it's extremely basic.
I was surprised for several reasons. 1) That Sariah remembered her birthmom's name well enough to mention it. 2) That Sariah remembered our previous conversation and put this part of the story together with the other part. I had not even said one word about her birthmom this time around. I had only mentioned our phone call and our happiness at having a new baby. But she put two and two together and knew that her birthmom, B______, was part of this story....and remembered that she was sad.
Now, to be fair, two seconds later, Sariah giggled and said, "Happy. B_____ happy." "Yes," I replied. B_____ was sad to say goodbye to her little baby, but she was happy that her baby was going to her family."
Dallin would have never done this at age two. Never! I don't know if on some level she knows and remembers her birthmom and the events surrounding her adoption, or if she just has a really good memory of what we talked about a couple of weeks ago. Either way, I'm thinking, am I really prepared to have these kinds of adoption talks with a 2-year-old?
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