(written by Sariah)
Things I wish my mommy could get through her thick noggin':
1. I'm a BIG GIRL now, and I can do BIG GIRL things.
2. I don't need my Mommy to snuggle me at nap time. She snuggles me TOO TIGHT, and then I can't roll around and play and keep myself awake like a BIG GIRL should be able to do. I can't believe my Mommy thinks I should lie still, mellow out, and actually close my eyes. That's for babies!
3. I really, truly CAN climb up, stand on the counter, and reach the highest shelf in the cupboard. And I CAN TOO handle writing with the permanent marker I found in that top cupboard. I MEANT to write all over my nice shirt. I think it looks better that way. SO THERE!
4. I AM TOO big enough to hang out in the computer room by myself. Why can't my Mommy see that unplugging the computer is actually one of my talents, and aren't we told to develop our talents and not hide them under a bushel? Besides, she doesn't need to be on the computer that much anyway.
5. She doesn't need to keep putting "me heecup" on such a high shelf. (Mommy says it's not a "hiccup", it's chapstick, but what does she know?) Mommy says that eating "me heecup" will make me sick, but something that tastes so good can't possibly be harmful to my tummy.
6. And what about that cool Princess toothpaste Mommy bought for me yesterday? Now she won't even let me carry it around. Something about swallowing flouride making me sick too. Whatever! Well, I showed her. I found Dallin's Wall-ee toothpaste, and I used as much of it as I wanted! I puts lots of toothpaste on TWO toothbrushes and ate it ALL GONE. (It wasn't my fault that the toothpaste came out too fast and got all over everything in the bathroom. Stuff happens, you know.)
7. But I gotta admit, that shampoo incident yesterday was a little bit scary. I really did think I was a big enough girl to shampoo my own hair. I really DIDN'T know the shampoo would come out of the bottle so fast. I had shampoo all over my hair, all down my shirt, all over my face. Only I didn't know how much it would hurt to have that much shampoo in my eyes. And it was REALLY scary when Mommy grabbed me and shoved me under the running water in the bathtub to try to flush out my eyes (and my hair, and all the rest of me too). My poor eye was red and puffy for the rest of the day.
8. But back to being a big girl, because that is what I really am, small accidents aside. Did you know I am a PIANO TEACHER? Mommy says I'm not, that she is the piano teacher, and I need to bring the students' books back and put them up, and not write in them. But I think it is totally not fair that Mommy gets to write in the piano books and not me, because I REALLY AM a piano teacher too! Oh well, I console myself by getting all of Mommy's post-it notes and pencils down off the piano and writing on those instead. (It's not my fault that dang music rack is broken, and every time I climb on the piano to get my much-need tools, the whole rack--which Mommy paid $75 to have fixed a few months ago--practically falls off.)
9. Last one, I promise! The other person who doesn't believe I'm a big girl is my brother, Dallin. Can you believe he won't even let me come near him when he is building all those cool towers with his cool blocks? The nerve! Well, too bad for him. I just wait till he isn't looking, and then I KNOCK DOWN those towers. Every. single. time. SO THERE!
Things I wish my mommy could get through her thick noggin':
1. I'm a BIG GIRL now, and I can do BIG GIRL things.
2. I don't need my Mommy to snuggle me at nap time. She snuggles me TOO TIGHT, and then I can't roll around and play and keep myself awake like a BIG GIRL should be able to do. I can't believe my Mommy thinks I should lie still, mellow out, and actually close my eyes. That's for babies!
3. I really, truly CAN climb up, stand on the counter, and reach the highest shelf in the cupboard. And I CAN TOO handle writing with the permanent marker I found in that top cupboard. I MEANT to write all over my nice shirt. I think it looks better that way. SO THERE!
4. I AM TOO big enough to hang out in the computer room by myself. Why can't my Mommy see that unplugging the computer is actually one of my talents, and aren't we told to develop our talents and not hide them under a bushel? Besides, she doesn't need to be on the computer that much anyway.
5. She doesn't need to keep putting "me heecup" on such a high shelf. (Mommy says it's not a "hiccup", it's chapstick, but what does she know?) Mommy says that eating "me heecup" will make me sick, but something that tastes so good can't possibly be harmful to my tummy.
6. And what about that cool Princess toothpaste Mommy bought for me yesterday? Now she won't even let me carry it around. Something about swallowing flouride making me sick too. Whatever! Well, I showed her. I found Dallin's Wall-ee toothpaste, and I used as much of it as I wanted! I puts lots of toothpaste on TWO toothbrushes and ate it ALL GONE. (It wasn't my fault that the toothpaste came out too fast and got all over everything in the bathroom. Stuff happens, you know.)
7. But I gotta admit, that shampoo incident yesterday was a little bit scary. I really did think I was a big enough girl to shampoo my own hair. I really DIDN'T know the shampoo would come out of the bottle so fast. I had shampoo all over my hair, all down my shirt, all over my face. Only I didn't know how much it would hurt to have that much shampoo in my eyes. And it was REALLY scary when Mommy grabbed me and shoved me under the running water in the bathtub to try to flush out my eyes (and my hair, and all the rest of me too). My poor eye was red and puffy for the rest of the day.
8. But back to being a big girl, because that is what I really am, small accidents aside. Did you know I am a PIANO TEACHER? Mommy says I'm not, that she is the piano teacher, and I need to bring the students' books back and put them up, and not write in them. But I think it is totally not fair that Mommy gets to write in the piano books and not me, because I REALLY AM a piano teacher too! Oh well, I console myself by getting all of Mommy's post-it notes and pencils down off the piano and writing on those instead. (It's not my fault that dang music rack is broken, and every time I climb on the piano to get my much-need tools, the whole rack--which Mommy paid $75 to have fixed a few months ago--practically falls off.)
9. Last one, I promise! The other person who doesn't believe I'm a big girl is my brother, Dallin. Can you believe he won't even let me come near him when he is building all those cool towers with his cool blocks? The nerve! Well, too bad for him. I just wait till he isn't looking, and then I KNOCK DOWN those towers. Every. single. time. SO THERE!
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