I think I've written about this before, but Dallin has clothing issues. We are hoping to get him in for an evaluation for Sensory Integration Disorder. We just have to talk to our insurance company before the doctor will give us a referral.
Anyway, the first week of school has been more than a bit of a challenge when it comes to getting dressed in the morning. We have battled over pretty much every article of clothing a kid must wear--pants, underwear, socks, even shirts to a certain extent. One day it took us a good half hour just to get him dressed because of all the tears and stalling. Sizing is a big issue--if things are even a tiny bit too small or too large, he can't stand it. His adjustable-waist pants have to be exactly the perfect tightness. Unfortunately, he seems to always be in-between sizes.
I asked the moms over at LDSAdoptiveparents (yahoogroup) for advice, and boy did I get some helpful hints! I just got back from Park City today, armed with loads of socks and underwear in various brands and sizes. Amazingly, he tried on every single pair and pronounced them all great! (Fingers crossed that he'll give the same answer next time he puts them on...)
I asked him this morning just what it was about socks that bugged him. To my surprise, he said it was the writing on the bottom. The socks we currently have have the brand name printed on the bottom, but it's in raised letters, so he feels the bumps (especially because the socks are getting kind of worn, and fabric is thin). I'm so glad I quizzed him, because I had no idea. I made sure to look for socks with no texture on the soles. I've decided that these higher-quality socks are just plain more comfortable--you can feel the softness and thickness when you handle them. No more Walmart undies and socks for us!
I've learned some things about dealing with Dallin lately. I wrote a few days ago about how using touch helped us both get through church. After reading one woman's comments in my group, I decided to try touch to help the getting-dressed process go more smoothly. And it has worked! I am literally amazed!
Instead of sending Dallin off to get dressed by himself, I have been trying to help him. I try to soothe and mellow him by doing things like touching his shoulders, speak calmly, use humor, pat his back, etc. I'm trying to keep it a connecting experience. Rather than focusing on the need for a 6-year-old to dress independently (which he can do, there's no issue there), I'm letting myself take part in the process. I can watch him put his shirt on, and even help him get his arms in, and then apply gentle pressure with my hands on his shoulders or back. Even patting his head helps. I can tell he really needs that physical connection, and it helps him organize himself. It's weird, but it honestly is making a difference. Since I started doing this, we have had almost no problems with him getting dressed. This morning, all clothes went on with no problems at all. (Except socks, but I promised him I was buying new socks today!)
About 10 minutes later, I heard a half whine/half cry that I recognized instantly. I asked him what was wrong, and he said that his pants were bugging him. He told me that he didn't like his "stupid brain". I had previously explained to him that his brain was giving him a message that his clothes didn't feel right, and that other kids brains didn't give them the same message; other kids were able to ignore their clothes and go about their activities--I was trying to explain, in a child's language, what happens with SID. I told him that sometimes I didn't like my brain either. He cynically wanted to know what was wrong with my brain--he didn't believe that my brain caused me any problems. I held him on my lap while I talked to him and explained that my brain tells me to worry about things all. the. time. (I suffer from some anxiety.) Like worrying about him walking to school all by himself. He laughed at that one--he agreed that my brain was "stupid" to worry about that. We sat there and had a silly conversation about all the ways our brains didn't work right. And he was fine. He didn't mention his pants again. We laughed for a little while, and then he got up and finished getting ready for school.
Someimtes--OK, often--Dallin's need to touch and be touched can drive me crazy. I think this is the first time I have really realized that I can use this to my advantage--that accomodating his need can actually help life go more smoothly.
Anyway, the first week of school has been more than a bit of a challenge when it comes to getting dressed in the morning. We have battled over pretty much every article of clothing a kid must wear--pants, underwear, socks, even shirts to a certain extent. One day it took us a good half hour just to get him dressed because of all the tears and stalling. Sizing is a big issue--if things are even a tiny bit too small or too large, he can't stand it. His adjustable-waist pants have to be exactly the perfect tightness. Unfortunately, he seems to always be in-between sizes.
I asked the moms over at LDSAdoptiveparents (yahoogroup) for advice, and boy did I get some helpful hints! I just got back from Park City today, armed with loads of socks and underwear in various brands and sizes. Amazingly, he tried on every single pair and pronounced them all great! (Fingers crossed that he'll give the same answer next time he puts them on...)
I asked him this morning just what it was about socks that bugged him. To my surprise, he said it was the writing on the bottom. The socks we currently have have the brand name printed on the bottom, but it's in raised letters, so he feels the bumps (especially because the socks are getting kind of worn, and fabric is thin). I'm so glad I quizzed him, because I had no idea. I made sure to look for socks with no texture on the soles. I've decided that these higher-quality socks are just plain more comfortable--you can feel the softness and thickness when you handle them. No more Walmart undies and socks for us!
I've learned some things about dealing with Dallin lately. I wrote a few days ago about how using touch helped us both get through church. After reading one woman's comments in my group, I decided to try touch to help the getting-dressed process go more smoothly. And it has worked! I am literally amazed!
Instead of sending Dallin off to get dressed by himself, I have been trying to help him. I try to soothe and mellow him by doing things like touching his shoulders, speak calmly, use humor, pat his back, etc. I'm trying to keep it a connecting experience. Rather than focusing on the need for a 6-year-old to dress independently (which he can do, there's no issue there), I'm letting myself take part in the process. I can watch him put his shirt on, and even help him get his arms in, and then apply gentle pressure with my hands on his shoulders or back. Even patting his head helps. I can tell he really needs that physical connection, and it helps him organize himself. It's weird, but it honestly is making a difference. Since I started doing this, we have had almost no problems with him getting dressed. This morning, all clothes went on with no problems at all. (Except socks, but I promised him I was buying new socks today!)
About 10 minutes later, I heard a half whine/half cry that I recognized instantly. I asked him what was wrong, and he said that his pants were bugging him. He told me that he didn't like his "stupid brain". I had previously explained to him that his brain was giving him a message that his clothes didn't feel right, and that other kids brains didn't give them the same message; other kids were able to ignore their clothes and go about their activities--I was trying to explain, in a child's language, what happens with SID. I told him that sometimes I didn't like my brain either. He cynically wanted to know what was wrong with my brain--he didn't believe that my brain caused me any problems. I held him on my lap while I talked to him and explained that my brain tells me to worry about things all. the. time. (I suffer from some anxiety.) Like worrying about him walking to school all by himself. He laughed at that one--he agreed that my brain was "stupid" to worry about that. We sat there and had a silly conversation about all the ways our brains didn't work right. And he was fine. He didn't mention his pants again. We laughed for a little while, and then he got up and finished getting ready for school.
Someimtes--OK, often--Dallin's need to touch and be touched can drive me crazy. I think this is the first time I have really realized that I can use this to my advantage--that accomodating his need can actually help life go more smoothly.
Comments