We're having a small "diplomacy" issue between us and a new neighbor. Our new neighbor has a little boy who is almost 3, and this little boy adores Dallin. Dallin has done nothing whatsoever to earn this child's veneration, yet little A constantly tells his mom he wants to come and play with Dallin. It's getting to be a bit of a sticky situation! See, Dallin does NOT want to play with A. Whenever A comes over, he does everything he can to NOT play with him. He basically completely ignores him. Sariah, on the other hand, adores A the way A adores Dallin and goes around saying "A friend A friend".
A few days ago, the doorbell rang. Before we could get to the door, I saw the car outside and knew exactly who it was. So did Dallin. He yelled at the top of his lungs, "Aw man, not A!" I was mortified. I was sure A's mother could hear this tirade through the door. Apparently she didn't hear a thing, because this morning I got yet another phone call: "Is Dallin available to play?"
Argh! Who expects an almost 6-year-old to play with an almost 3-year-old? Now, Dallin is really a nice kid who often plays with littler kids when their presence is incidental to whatever else he's doing. I think his problem in this situation is that he feels forced to play with this kid, and Dallin doesn't like to be forced to do anything. The more A's mom sends A over just to play with Dallin, the more Dallin feels pushed and the more he resists having to play with him.
I have to admit, I'm getting annoyed too! It's fairly obvious (to me at least, but I guess I'm his mother) that Dallin really doesn't care about playing with A. Yet this mom keeps calling. Now I'm sure her son is bugging her about it. But for goodness sakes, just say no! I would never call to arrange playdate after playdate with a child well out of my child's age range, especially when there is no evidence of them hitting it off. It wouldn't matter what my child said or how much he asked. I would say that we wait to be invited, and then I would work my tail off to find my child friends his own age.
I've always insisted that Dallin be kind to this little boy. But I'm frustrated for Dallin's sake too. So today I tried to gently hint to A's mom that maybe this isn't the best friendship to pursue. I told her that Dallin isn't available to play until after 12:00 pm, to begin with. She seemed a little put out by that, but heck, I'm not going to arrange our family's schedule just to suit her. Then I explained that I would be teaching piano into the afternoon. She still wondered if Dallin could come and play after that. At that point I told her that I thought Sariah would enjoy playing with A much more than Dallin would, and I could arrange for Sariah to come over. I hope that did the trick! Ack, I don't want to hurt her feelings! But I felt like it was time for me to step in and help my child out with this situation, and that it wasn't fair to him to have to keep playing the nice guy time after time after time.
I honestly don't know if she will "get it". She's a very nice lady, but a bit over-eager, extremely extroverted, etc. That's all I will say because when my children read this someday, I don't want them to think I was completely judgmental and gossipy!
A few days ago, the doorbell rang. Before we could get to the door, I saw the car outside and knew exactly who it was. So did Dallin. He yelled at the top of his lungs, "Aw man, not A!" I was mortified. I was sure A's mother could hear this tirade through the door. Apparently she didn't hear a thing, because this morning I got yet another phone call: "Is Dallin available to play?"
Argh! Who expects an almost 6-year-old to play with an almost 3-year-old? Now, Dallin is really a nice kid who often plays with littler kids when their presence is incidental to whatever else he's doing. I think his problem in this situation is that he feels forced to play with this kid, and Dallin doesn't like to be forced to do anything. The more A's mom sends A over just to play with Dallin, the more Dallin feels pushed and the more he resists having to play with him.
I have to admit, I'm getting annoyed too! It's fairly obvious (to me at least, but I guess I'm his mother) that Dallin really doesn't care about playing with A. Yet this mom keeps calling. Now I'm sure her son is bugging her about it. But for goodness sakes, just say no! I would never call to arrange playdate after playdate with a child well out of my child's age range, especially when there is no evidence of them hitting it off. It wouldn't matter what my child said or how much he asked. I would say that we wait to be invited, and then I would work my tail off to find my child friends his own age.
I've always insisted that Dallin be kind to this little boy. But I'm frustrated for Dallin's sake too. So today I tried to gently hint to A's mom that maybe this isn't the best friendship to pursue. I told her that Dallin isn't available to play until after 12:00 pm, to begin with. She seemed a little put out by that, but heck, I'm not going to arrange our family's schedule just to suit her. Then I explained that I would be teaching piano into the afternoon. She still wondered if Dallin could come and play after that. At that point I told her that I thought Sariah would enjoy playing with A much more than Dallin would, and I could arrange for Sariah to come over. I hope that did the trick! Ack, I don't want to hurt her feelings! But I felt like it was time for me to step in and help my child out with this situation, and that it wasn't fair to him to have to keep playing the nice guy time after time after time.
I honestly don't know if she will "get it". She's a very nice lady, but a bit over-eager, extremely extroverted, etc. That's all I will say because when my children read this someday, I don't want them to think I was completely judgmental and gossipy!
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