Dallin and James planned a wonderful Mother's Day weekend for me. Things did not go exactly as they planned--they wanted to have some surprises, but ended up having to tell me about everything, from the gift that I would need to pick out myself to the waffle breakfast when they discovered we had no waffle mix and James had to ask me to find him a reciple. As we lounged around enjoying the morning, I asked Dallin if he could guess the one thing left that I really wanted for Mother's Day. James let out a small groan as he instantly knew what it was--a picture of me and the kids. I don't know why this is so important to me--maybe it's because it still seems hard to believe sometimes that I am a mother. I need a picture to prove it! Anyway, we managed to get one picture of both children actually smiling--that's all I needed to be happy!
The Primary children sang in Sacrament Meeting, of course, but we got a surprise when Sariah's nursery leaders brought her class into Relief Society to sing for us. It was a disaster by anyone's standards. Most of the children started to cry the second they saw their mothers. Only two of the 10+ kids actually sang the songs. The others cried or stared. Sariah cried when they first brought her in, but when the music started she stopped and was totally into the song. She didn't sing, but she sat up there and waved the little popsicle stick "mommies" they were carrying. She waved like there was no tomorrow, and she was right on the beat! That's my girl! In spite of the hilarity of the whole experience, I was also very touched. Seeing my tiny little girl up there keeping the beat was the one thing all day that brought tears to my eyes.
The Primary children sang "Mother, I Love You". Dallin told me how boring he thought the song was, yet all afternoon as he played he couldn't help but sing it over and over and over.
I had one of those small, but profound mothering moments this morning. I was making a salad to take to our big family dinner, and Sariah was helping me. As soon as she saw me in the kitchen, she pushed her chair over and had to get involved. I was washing and tearing lettuce. She busily tore lettuce with me (though she put all of her pieces in the sink rather than in the bowl.) At one point, I took a wet piece of lettuce, held it over the sink, and briskly shook it to get the excess water off. The very next second, Sariah took her piece of lettuce and shook it over the sink, with the very same hand movements and intensity I had used. It hit me strongly just how great my influence is on her. She loves to be with me. She watches every little thing I do, even when I do not realize she is paying attention. She wanted to participate in this activity with me. And in an instant, she absorbed this mundane action down to the strictest detail and imitated it perfectly. I just thought, "Wow, I really am her mother!" She wouldn't do that with just anybody, but she did with me because I am her mother. That seems like a "duh!" thing to think, but as a mother through adoption, I get my "realness" questioned by society at large all the time, and there are moments where that becomes a little bit of doubt within myself too. This moment was a blessing--a small, but powerful reminder of the influence I have upon my children because I'm their Mom.
Like I said, I got to pick out my own Mother's Day gift, and much to James' surprise (since I am very opinionated about not giving or getting practical "work" gifts), I requested one of the steam cleaners that have been the rage lately on my adoptive mom's email group. It was a bit of a challenge to track one down, but we finally found one at Lowe's last night. It was a more expensive gift than I would normally receive, but I'm hoping it will be worth it to see our house get cleaner more easily. On the way home, we blew a tire (our second blow-out in only two weeks!). I instantly thought of how what we'd just spent on the steam cleaner was exactly what a new tire would cost and felt a tad bit guilty. Ah well. James says maybe he will be getting 7 new tires for Father's Day, since we will have to replace this one, then the van really needs two more new tires, and all four tires on our little Hyundai are bald too. Yikes, there goes all the fun we were planning to have with our federal tax rebate!
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