As I mentioned before, D is turning into an absolute sports NUT. As I have not mentioned before, but most people who know me are quite aware of, I HATE sports. There is almost nothing that interests me less upon this earth than sports.
One of D's strongest love languages is "quality time", and in his mind right now, that means for us to spend quality time playing sports with him. LOTS of quality time playing sports with him. Did I mention LOTS and LOTS of quality time playing sports with him? We had to upgrade from the cardboard box basketball hoop we made, because he played so much that the thing couldn't hold a box-shape long enough for a ball to be able to fit through. So on Saturday Dad helped him saw off the bottom half of a food storage bucket and turn the battered box into a backboard for the new bucket-basket, which now graces our family room wall. I'm thinking that a real basketball standard is going to have to be on a birthday or Christmas list sooner rather than later because this obsession isn't going away.
When I asked D what summer activities he would like to do (thinking that swimming lessons would be great), he said he wanted to take baseball lessons from Daddy. Now, that is just the sweetest thing I have ever heard! I have also loved watching the two of them bond over Jazz games--it melts my heart every single time! I can see sports being a huge part of the future they will share together.
However, Daddy is gone to work 10 hours a day, and a boy can't be expected to wait 10 hours for Daddy to come home before playing some kind of sport. Now, I don't mind playing a simple game of catch (especially if I can lay on the couch while doing it), or in the case of basketball, shooting hoops. But D wants to play actual games. He wants me to run around and pass the ball to him or to try to steal it from him. He gets mad when I try to simply make baskets. He also gets mad when I try to watch a TV show and play basketball at the same time. :) He knows when my heart is not really in it.
Needless to say this has been a struggle for me. I have suggested a myriad of other ways that we could have quality time together, such as reading books or playing board games, only to be told that my idea of fun is boring and what he really wants to do is play ball with me.
I have been reflecting a lot on this and my own inner urge to fight playing ball with every ounce of my being. I am adding a new dimension to the realization that motherhood often means sacrifice. This playing of sports is one of those Things We Do For Love. These simple games we now play are just the beginning of the sacrifices that I will need to make--and WILL make--over the years as he grows. I am already imagining how many soccer, basketball, baseball, football, and whatever-ball games I will sit through during the next 10-12 years. The thought is not particularly appealing at the moment, unfortunately.
There is a woman in my ward who also hates sports. I happen to know that she has solved her problem by simply not going to any of her sons' games. Her husband is a fanatic, and she is quite content to leave being a fan to him. I know she loves her sons, and I know she shows her love to them in many other ways, so I am certain that her sons are not going to grow up feeling rejected by their mother. But for me, personally, I can't imagine not supporting D in whatever things he chooses to pursue, including sports.
So Saturday night while J was at general priesthood meeting, I sat down on the sofa with D and willingingly watched almost an entire Final Four college basketball playoff game. It helped that the Kansas Jayhawks were playing. I served in Lawrence, Kansas as a missionary and have fond memories of KU (though I think their true best asset is having one of the best organ programs in the nation--football and basketball are entirely secondary). I even went upstairs and dug out an old Jayhawks sweatshirt left over from my mission and put it on D. He was thrilled! He even left it on after he found out later that it was Mommy's sweatshirt--once I explained that sweatshirts can be worn by either girls or boys.
And there we bonded. Over basketball. And it was very sweet. And only part of the time did I sneak and read my Taste of the South cooking magazine behind his back while he was engrossed in the game.
The things we do for Love.
One of D's strongest love languages is "quality time", and in his mind right now, that means for us to spend quality time playing sports with him. LOTS of quality time playing sports with him. Did I mention LOTS and LOTS of quality time playing sports with him? We had to upgrade from the cardboard box basketball hoop we made, because he played so much that the thing couldn't hold a box-shape long enough for a ball to be able to fit through. So on Saturday Dad helped him saw off the bottom half of a food storage bucket and turn the battered box into a backboard for the new bucket-basket, which now graces our family room wall. I'm thinking that a real basketball standard is going to have to be on a birthday or Christmas list sooner rather than later because this obsession isn't going away.
When I asked D what summer activities he would like to do (thinking that swimming lessons would be great), he said he wanted to take baseball lessons from Daddy. Now, that is just the sweetest thing I have ever heard! I have also loved watching the two of them bond over Jazz games--it melts my heart every single time! I can see sports being a huge part of the future they will share together.
However, Daddy is gone to work 10 hours a day, and a boy can't be expected to wait 10 hours for Daddy to come home before playing some kind of sport. Now, I don't mind playing a simple game of catch (especially if I can lay on the couch while doing it), or in the case of basketball, shooting hoops. But D wants to play actual games. He wants me to run around and pass the ball to him or to try to steal it from him. He gets mad when I try to simply make baskets. He also gets mad when I try to watch a TV show and play basketball at the same time. :) He knows when my heart is not really in it.
Needless to say this has been a struggle for me. I have suggested a myriad of other ways that we could have quality time together, such as reading books or playing board games, only to be told that my idea of fun is boring and what he really wants to do is play ball with me.
I have been reflecting a lot on this and my own inner urge to fight playing ball with every ounce of my being. I am adding a new dimension to the realization that motherhood often means sacrifice. This playing of sports is one of those Things We Do For Love. These simple games we now play are just the beginning of the sacrifices that I will need to make--and WILL make--over the years as he grows. I am already imagining how many soccer, basketball, baseball, football, and whatever-ball games I will sit through during the next 10-12 years. The thought is not particularly appealing at the moment, unfortunately.
There is a woman in my ward who also hates sports. I happen to know that she has solved her problem by simply not going to any of her sons' games. Her husband is a fanatic, and she is quite content to leave being a fan to him. I know she loves her sons, and I know she shows her love to them in many other ways, so I am certain that her sons are not going to grow up feeling rejected by their mother. But for me, personally, I can't imagine not supporting D in whatever things he chooses to pursue, including sports.
So Saturday night while J was at general priesthood meeting, I sat down on the sofa with D and willingingly watched almost an entire Final Four college basketball playoff game. It helped that the Kansas Jayhawks were playing. I served in Lawrence, Kansas as a missionary and have fond memories of KU (though I think their true best asset is having one of the best organ programs in the nation--football and basketball are entirely secondary). I even went upstairs and dug out an old Jayhawks sweatshirt left over from my mission and put it on D. He was thrilled! He even left it on after he found out later that it was Mommy's sweatshirt--once I explained that sweatshirts can be worn by either girls or boys.
And there we bonded. Over basketball. And it was very sweet. And only part of the time did I sneak and read my Taste of the South cooking magazine behind his back while he was engrossed in the game.
The things we do for Love.
Comments
Rhonda
I am very proud of him, though, that he's having so much success and that he has something he loves so much (besides watching TV, which he also loves, lol!) So there is hope that I will enjoy it after all!
Rhonda, this is a very recent thing for him. He's always liked to play ball, but never been obsessed until the past couple of months. It all started with playing dodgeball in kindergarten. I think he's quite good, and I'm sure that is part of what is feeding his love of sports.