D actually sleeps most of the time in his own room and bed. However, on the nights J is gone to meetings, he often chooses to lay down with me while I help S get to sleep, and invariably he falls asleep too. (He does not know that this is Mommy's little secret plan to get herself more "me" time in the evenings!)
Some of my favorites times are mornings when S wakes me up by climbing on me and grinning as I open my eyes. Then D comes bounding in, and I get to lay in bed while the two of them wrestle and play and laugh together.
I've been wanting to post some quotes from a book I love, The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting, by Jon and Myla Kabat-Zinn: (speaking of the family bed)
"A greater intention came into play here, one we valued(OK, well, I don't know if that last part is true for my kids, lol! But it sounds really good, doesn't it?)
more than sleep. We intuitively felt that the security and the peace that
our physical presence gave our children was nourishing to their whole
being. The effect was tangible. We could see it in their open,
curious, lively, loving faces. Our presence at night grounded them in
their bodies and in the world, and that grounding could be seenin the way they
quietl observed the world around them. They were curious without being
frenetic, active without being out of control."
"The well-being and joyfulness emanating from them was wonderfully
contagious. They were wholly present--whether it was in a laugh of
delight, a shout of anger, or a loving embrace. The purity of their
aliveness was enlivening for us and more than made up for the lost sleep."
"We were sleep-deprived for many years. There were often times when life
invariably intervened in our attempts to get uninterrupted sleep, in the form of
teething or colds or stomach upsets. Sometimes it felt like we were
playing musical beds...In spite of everything, we managed to function during the
day. Along the way we had to redefine for ourselves what felt normal in
terms of how much sleep we needed."
"We parented this way out of the
conviction that deeper things were being fed than our need for uninterrupted
sleep..."
"We share our own personal family experience around sleeping
arrangements and the philosophy behind it because we felt so strongly--and still
do--about the importance of trying to shelter and nourish children's soul needs
in this way when they are little...We simply want young couples to know that it
is an option, and that it is doable....Like everything else, having children
sleep in your bed has its costs; but it can also have very tangible benefits, a
feeling of well-being for both parent and child that carries you through
difficult times."
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